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Yesterday as I was reading P. Jong's newest post (pjong.com, everyone should read it!) one phrase stood out to me. It said "I major in church and minor in sociology" and first thing I thought was "OMG how does he know what I'm thinking?" I realized that many times I use church as an excuse to slack off in school and I really don't want to do that. I want to glorify God in all aspects of my life including school. So from now on, I will say this: "I double major in church AND sociology!" finals week. awesome. Lord help me. :)

Well it's that time of year again....

Finals time :D yay.....wait..no. It's been more than a year since I've last taken a final at the great U of I (apparently the internet was created here, neat huh?) and I should be so thankful that I've been given another chance here but all of my body wants to complain. Why am I so sinful? why am I so selfish? This past weekend was lock-in and it was suuuuuuppperrr blessing and it's not because I prayed really hard or anything (well I did) but  it was because God showed me so much grace that night. P. Jong said there's two kinds of "why me"s. There's the "why me?" in a selfish context, "why me?" why am I in this situation? why do I have to suffer? However, the other "why me?" is a little different. It's "why me?" Why does God look down on me with grace? Why does God show me nothing but love when I fail him time and time again? Why me? Why am I forgiven for all my transgressions when I've done nothing? It's true we've done nothing to receive God's grace BUT it's not because of what we've done, it's because of what God has done, WHO God is! God is great, God is forgiving, God is merciful. So, I am thankful even during finals because of what God has done. His grace is new every morning despite the fact that I fail and fail and will continue to fail. Thank you Lord, thank you for what You've done and what You continue to do for this sinner. Thank you...

I suck....

I suck at life.....





















but God is greater than my failures and shortcomings, so :)

Worst Worship Ever??

Ok soo I should be writing my EALC essay right now but I'm guessing that I won't be getting much sleep anyways so I decided to make this post on an interesting video my friend posted on fb. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nsHH_HYSkH8 The title of the video is "Worst Worship Ever?" and like I understand that there are different forms of worship but this...this is just...wow...I mean, spin socks and hats in the air? What the junks? Anyways...yeah, I don't know if anyone reads this but if you do...just yeah...I'm tired    -_- Oh and..."people all over the world, join hands, people start a love train, love train.." Epic.

Prodigal Son

Hmm, I should be writing my research paper but eh. Yesterday, I had small group and the bible study for the week was on Luke 15:11-32, which is the Prodigal Son passage. As we got into the bible study, I couldn't help but feel like the older son. Lately I've been having struggling with mm how would I say this, envy almost. I'm so envious of other people's blessings. When I came to college I instantly realized that there are so many people more spiritually mature than and many of these people had only become Christian in college. At the time this didn't bother me too much as most of them were older than me but like as I saw people in my own class who have changed so much since freshmen year, I began to feel discouraged and almost disappointed with myself. Why is it that these people have grown so much when I feel stagnant? I've been Christian for so long in my life and yet they're so much more mature than I am. I am the older son who complains to God and to people about how I have served God faithfully for so many years but I don't get the same blessings without realizing that God's blessings were always available to me but in my legalistic service I was too blind to see it. Many times I feel like I have to be at a certain level of cleanliness, of "holiness" to approach God's throne but then what is the point if I can do it on my own? I realize that I have much to grow. I need to become the older brother who loves, and asks his father "When is my brother going to return home?" and rejoice when he does. It is amazing to see what God has done in the lives of my peers and instead of grumbling, I need to learn to be joyful knowing that my fellow brothers and sisters are repenting and returning to Christ and are growing. I need to grow...

New Blog, New Post

Mmmm soo yeah, welcome to my blog. I don't know how often I'll be updating this or whatever but I just thought it would be cool to have a place to just share my thoughts and stuff. Right now the layout is lame and everything but it should get better? lol...ok I guess for this first post I'll just explain my title and my URL. So like I wanted this to be a blog of nonsense but also you know be able to share some deeper thoughts and ideas so I my title is "keep the lantern burning..." and my URL is like doulos-joe or something, I can't remember it exactly. Yeah, well so doulos means slave or bond-servant in Greek, and by saying doulos-joe...well it's pretty obvious. I am bond-servant of Christ because He bought me with His blood and I want to be a faithful servant who goes out early in the morning to prepare the way his master, prepared to wait for an extended period of time with extra oil for my lantern. I don't want to go out and give up after while but instead continue fighting my own heart so that I can be ready when my master shows up at a unrevealed time. Mmm, well there's the meaning behind my blog title and URL....yeah...I don't know how coherent this post will be but I don't want to look at this so I'm just going to post it...